Cut to 8 months later....

So, it's been exactly 8 months since my last post. I physically journaled til my life drastically changed, for the better mind you, in July.

Let's recap...

I co-habitated with Jen until about April....April 30th to be exact, but backtrack to February 27th...4 months to the day of our break-up. I was trying to be nice and start the cars that cold morning. Jen's keys were in her vest pocket, so I grabbed them and started the Buick. As the keys fell from my grip I discovered a keychain of the month of May 2012...there was a heart around the 17th. I turned cold then hot and shook all over. I didn't know what to do or think or say when I went back into the house. I mustered up the courage to ask Jen what the significance was, prefacing it with "I know it's none of my business...". She said it was just a gift. I walked out and screeched my tires off to work. I vented to co-workers on the way in and shut myself in my office. It didn't take long for Jen to text an apology and call herself an asshole. I soon realized I could no longer stay at work, no administrator was to be found, so I told Sue & Dee where I was going, cancelled lessons and rearranged one class then headed for Jenny's. She was so hopped up on drugs from her surgery I couldn't tell if she was really listening, but it wasn't long before Jen was texting she was on her way home and we needed to talk so I didn't draw my own conclusions. I didn't even want to look at her. She said it was just a friendship and didn't know where it was going but wanted to end things with us before pursuing anything. I asked if it was Ann...she looked me in the eyes and said no. She offered again to move out, but I said no because I couldn't afford to live on my own. I told her I hoped we could work things out and get back together. She said that was no going to happen. I went back to work at 11am, Jen worked from home. In the following months, she was home less and less until she just stopped coming home at the end of April. It was weeks before I even heard from her. When I did, she offered to make me dinner because she was going to be home that night. I was hesitant, but went. She made steak and potatoes, she had beer, I had wine...lots of it. The talk turned from idol chit chat to who was going to get and where the animals were going and that we were done. The nail in my coffin, so I thought. Jen was messaging me from Facebook one morning and the location stamp was "Corinna"...my heart sank. After school got out in June, Hunter was visiting. One night we were talking about where Jen was living and he said he thought she was living with Ann. Michelle confirmed it with me in a conversation later that week. I acted like I knew everything...holy shit I didn't know that much. It gave me a sense of closure that I need...that and telling Jen I hoped she and Ann lived happily ever after...ha ha. A week later, Jen, in a fit of rage, messaged me about turning her mother against me. We exchanged heated words ending hours later with her apologizing for hurting me. We gave a notice to move out by August 1st. Jen took the first week of July off and I made sure I was not around while she moved. She'd text me to let me know she was done for the day. The last time I had to see her was the day of the yard sale...July 27th...9 months to the day that we official broke-up. She was suppose to help me close up the house on the last day of our lease, but said work was too stressful and she wouldn't make it. So, on July 31st, I cleaned everything out and drove away from 21 Nadeau St for the last time.

My job in Milford was on the line...wanting to cut me and other specialists back...my position to 2 or 2.5 days a week. Losing my job was the last thing I needed. I rallied hardcore. Kids and a former student now music teacher wrote letters, parents showed up in droves for the March school board meeting, I made a kick-ass presentation and even got an interview on WABI. By the beginning of April, things were looking good...staying at 3 days. Then another bomb dropped...cutting K-2 music district-wide in RSU 34...found that one out after my Bradley concert. There was nothing I could do to save that position, the decision was made. By June, I was cleaning out my spaces and saying goodbye to kids and staff.

So, there I was in mid-June, ending a relationship with the first woman I loved of 7 years, finding myself part-time employed for one for lowest paying school districts in the area, and 6 weeks away from being homeless.

Let's backtrack again...the positive that came out of all of this is one amazing friend who ironically is also our school's assistant principal. During February vacation, Trish had posted on Facebook that watching "Rock of Ages" restored her faith in humanity. I chimed in that I was dying to see it at Collins Center in March but didn't have anyone to go with. She was all in...no joke. So I got tickets, backrow balcony...she was psyched, as was I! The night of the show, she came over to my house, we had lots of drinks and ended calling on a friend/co-worker, Rusty, for a ride to the show. I learned a lot about Trish that night and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Two weeks after the show, one Friday night when she was kid free, we planned a girls night at my place but Trish ended up canceling after a horrible day at work. I canceled plans with Renee and took Rusty's advice and went to Trish's. She was already tipsy when I arrived so I had some catching up to do. We invited Renee over who ended up dragging us to Judy's then Hollywood Slots where we met up with Rusty. Something was said and I got upset, Trish took off, Renee brought me back to Trish's where we broke in and I waited for Trish...okay, I passed out on the couch until she got home. It was amusing to see her face and hear her say "How the fuck did you get into my house?" We talked for a bit then she invited me to crash in her bed for the night. That was just the start of many drunken nights at 141 Fern. Our friendship strengthened as both our relationships were falling apart. The most memorable nights were when she fired up the ipod in Olivia's room and sang at the top of her lungs. When the song "A Thousand Years" came on, she motioned me to her, held me tight and stroked the back of my head as I unleashed weeks of tears I'd held back. Another night, Trish was upset about an incident with Scott, called me at 11pm and before I knew it, I was on my way over there. At first I just let her talk, but I ended up spending the night, we snuggled together, at her invitation, to aleveate the pain of being alone. The next morning was the first time she brought up me moving in. We went back and forth with the idea until it was settled...I was going to move in but under the radar. We began moving stuff out of Olivia's room the same week Jen was moving stuff out of our house. By week's end, my bed, clothes and personal effects were all moved in. July 5th, I spend my first night at my new, temporary, home.

On the job front, I was just steps away from applying for a position in Bangor but didn't pull the necessary references together in time so I let it slip away. Part of me didn't want to give up Milford, I needed consistency somewhere in my life. However, a 2 day a week position opened in Otis at the Beech Hill School. PERFECT! A bit of a commute, but I could do it! I filled out the application, pulled everything together and sent it out just in time for the deadline...July 5th! I didn't hear anything for weeks but finally got a call from the principal at the end of July for an interview. On July 31st I had what I thought was a decent interview with the principal and special ed teacher. I tried to keep an open mind. Sunday, August 4th, the principal called to say she was recommending me to the Superintendent, who would do a phone interview with me the next day. Monday, August 5th, after a 45 minute conversation with the Superintendent, of which I spoke maybe 5 minutes, she offered me a contract right over the phone. Life was moving on and up!!!

Life is not ideal, but it's improving from where I was a year ago, 6 months ago, hell, even 3 months ago. I'm living on the down-low with my best friend and her two adorable and energetic offspring who have deemed me "Aunt Keri", I'm working full time, even though my job is split between two schools 30 miles apart from each other, and my heart is healing...even if I do have my moments...those are allowed.