Survived the day...

So I'm a total loser and curled up on the couch at 7am and slept another 2 1/2 hours. I dragged ass to get housework done but eventually it got there.

I had some lunch before completing my workout but I got it in. I sweat a little today too. Slowly but surely I'll work up to where I used to be...little by little. Every bead of sweat, every pound shed is another step closer to motherhood!

We had such an awesome supper tonight....Jen's lemon pepper haddock, roasted squash and steamed broccoli. It was so good, so healthy and easy to make. I was on such a high after supper because I felt I had just eaten the most healthy meal. I was so proud of us. Then I caught the end of the evening news...talking about the obesity in America. I thought "Oh God, that's me...I'm one of those 35%...I'm a statistic." I don't want to be a statistic...I want to be a mom. I felt so sorry for the 16 year old who had already dropped 50 lbs but still weighed over 400lbs. In that 400lb girl, I saw Jen A...she's just 30 or so pounds away from that...but, I'm not suppose to worry about her....it's our year...our year to be parents.

I'm still worried about Jen. The bullshit is piling up and it's wearing her down. We had a tense moment because I'm trying to get her to open up and admit she's not just tired. I forget sometimes I can't pry...I just need to let her talk on her time. I love her so much...I want my baby back. She did open up a little bit as Ann was texting her...what a fucked up mess with Todd throwing her under the bus. On a happy note, she did say that she had to change her password at work today...let's just say that being parents is on her mind as much as it is mine!!!

Tomorrow I need to work on a letter to Dr. Davis. A lot of what he said in the meeting yesterday made sense. I'm so on the fence about my job...I want to stay, but I have to do what's right for my family. Then I think if I talk to him, maybe things will change for me next year, but what if they don't? And if I leave, will that be the end of music in Milford? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ended a program. That's why I need to write and edit and write and edit before I send it but I need to reach out. He needs to know I care.

Whitney....out!