Today is my day off...you know what that means...home alone! I must stay away from the kitchen. I have a lot to keep me busy, I just can't overeat!
I read a Facebook friend's status that said she was going to replace one bad thing with one good thing every day. I don't know that I have "bad things" to give up, I'm just trying to make positive changes.
I slipped a little yesterday but not bad. In the afternoon, I was starving at school while sticking around for my meeting. I remembered the candy in the closet. 210 calories for 5 pieces...I had 2 pieces...just enough to satisfy that urge. Jen asked what we were having for supper. I grabbed a box of lean pockets, but I told her we could have pizza and she didn't have to wait for me. I ate both pockets around 5pm and when I got home at 7:15, there on the table was a salad! Yay! That worked in my favor.
Yesterday I also psyched myself into thinking I've already lost weight. My pants seemed to button with little effort...I think it's all in my mind because it'd only been 3 days. I just try to keep in mind that I'm doing this all for a baby.
Day 4....away we go!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Worry of the day...
...Jen. I worry about her sometimes...okay, all of the time. She seems really down right now and I don't know what is wrong. When I ask, she says she's tired. I know she's had a crazy week so far with the fallout from staying open during a storm, a meeting in a Augusta, 2 meetings in Portland. Still, she's made mention to me and Ann that she's not happy with her job. I asked her if she regrets moving to Ellsworth. She said sometimes. That made my heart drop. I hate seeing her like this...it breaks my heart. I love her so much and I love the happy her. We had an amazing 3 days at home together and we never even argued once. Not that we are arguing now, but that tention is there and I don't like living like that. I wish I could make things better. I think we both need a change....career change, living situation change, a life makeover.
Jen said she was thinking about our wedding, when we get to have one. She was listening to the song "Yeah" and said it would be cool if we learned how to dance to it, like choreographed and had that as our first dance. I'm glad she's so positive about that happening because we could be in our 60s at the rate the country is going. NH assholes are looking to overturn their marriage law now!!!
Anyway, I'm sure I'm worrying about nothing...this too will pass.
Time for my focus of the day...Day 1: Eating Healthy, Day 2: Exercise.....Day 3...hmmm, I think today I need to focus on getting organized at school. I should take one day a week to do that. I have a meeting tonight, show choir starts next week, new music needs to be distributed for chorus and band...need to take a little time to get that together.
Happy Hump Day everyone!
Jen said she was thinking about our wedding, when we get to have one. She was listening to the song "Yeah" and said it would be cool if we learned how to dance to it, like choreographed and had that as our first dance. I'm glad she's so positive about that happening because we could be in our 60s at the rate the country is going. NH assholes are looking to overturn their marriage law now!!!
Anyway, I'm sure I'm worrying about nothing...this too will pass.
Time for my focus of the day...Day 1: Eating Healthy, Day 2: Exercise.....Day 3...hmmm, I think today I need to focus on getting organized at school. I should take one day a week to do that. I have a meeting tonight, show choir starts next week, new music needs to be distributed for chorus and band...need to take a little time to get that together.
Happy Hump Day everyone!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The more I think about it...
...the more excited and scared I get. I can't obsess though, I have to take one day at a time. I have to focus on what needs to be done now, so we can do what needs to be done down the road so we can have what we want in the end.
Now...get healthy, save money, and get our affairs in order.
Down the road...doctor's appointment, insemination (1, 2, 3, 10 times???)
End result...a baby!!!
Still, my mind starts bouncing all around and I wonder if and when, how much will it cost. I wish I could share this with Jen but I know she's not a master worrier like me.
That's why I say...one day at a time. Yesterday's focus was eating healthy, today's will be exercise. My first session in months...I need to get back into a routine. As much as it sucked, I saw results and others did to!
Now...get healthy, save money, and get our affairs in order.
Down the road...doctor's appointment, insemination (1, 2, 3, 10 times???)
End result...a baby!!!
Still, my mind starts bouncing all around and I wonder if and when, how much will it cost. I wish I could share this with Jen but I know she's not a master worrier like me.
That's why I say...one day at a time. Yesterday's focus was eating healthy, today's will be exercise. My first session in months...I need to get back into a routine. As much as it sucked, I saw results and others did to!
Let's Get Pregnant in 2010!!!!
That's what Jen called it last night "I'm going to make it my facebook status". Even though it's day 4, for me it's day 1...something OCD about me starting on a Monday.
The first step in getting pregnant is losing weight. I'm not even really worried about the number I get down to, or the size I'll wear, it's getting healthy that I truly am concerned with. Day 1 went well...I'll follow up later with my Food Journal in the next blog.
If I spend the next 6 months getting healthy, tracking my cycle, and saving money, then this summer we can focus on insemination. We ARE going to do it this time. I want this more than ever!!!
If I spend the next 6 months getting healthy, tracking my cycle, and saving money, then this summer we can focus on insemination. We ARE going to do it this time. I want this more than ever!!!
Lazy ass....
So after days of being "snowed in" it was nice to get back into a routine. Saturday it snowed and snowed and we were prepared with munchies, meals, video games, blankets and sweats. I played DS, went on Facebook, watched a stupid movie with Jen. She played Bioshock and more Bioshock. We weren't tired...stayed downstairs until 11:30 then moved upstairs and still didn't get to sleep until after 1:00....hee hee!
Sunday's clean-up was much better than we thought. We went right out, cleaned and moved the cars, Stan was here within 20 minutes. He cleaned us out and we were done clean-up for the day! We played video games, watched New Years Eve videos and laughed our asses off. I made a dog bed for Bruschi, Jen made wings and ribs for the game...mmm, good! Jen made it through 1/2 of the game then went to take a nap. I played around the flip videos more then got caught up in CSI.
It's back to work, a routine, a good thing. Tomorrow also begins our goal for the new year...by this time next year...
Sunday's clean-up was much better than we thought. We went right out, cleaned and moved the cars, Stan was here within 20 minutes. He cleaned us out and we were done clean-up for the day! We played video games, watched New Years Eve videos and laughed our asses off. I made a dog bed for Bruschi, Jen made wings and ribs for the game...mmm, good! Jen made it through 1/2 of the game then went to take a nap. I played around the flip videos more then got caught up in CSI.
It's back to work, a routine, a good thing. Tomorrow also begins our goal for the new year...by this time next year...
Friday, January 1, 2010
1/1/10
We had an excellent time last night at City Park for karaoke and to ring in the New Year. It was just Ben & Marissa, Renee & Steve, and Jen & I but it was still a lot of fun. I didn't have a lot of luck with two of my karaoke songs....Lisa G took "Don't Stop Believin'" away from me AGAIN and Marissa took "U & UR Hand" away from me! At midnight we watched the ball drop in Times Square and had a champagne toast. It was a sweet moment! Got home around 1:30 and within 10 minutes decided it was time to go to bed.
We only slept until 7am this morning. We lounged around for a bit before heading out to Hannaford for supplies for the impending storm. Ben & Marissa were gone by the time we came home. Jen made us copypots and then we retreated to the living room for a Criminal Minds marathon. It wasn't long before we moved up to the bedroom for a nap. Well, the nap turned into the most intense sex we've had in a LONG time. God it felt good! We laid together a while longer, I dozed off until the power snapped on and off momentarily and woke me. We laid in bed and finished another episode of Criminal Minds before going back downstairs. Jen made us a snack of coldcuts. We tried to find something different on TV but there was nothing. We ordered Chinese food for supper...Jen waited quite impatiently...barking and meowing to annoy me! After that, she passed out on the couch while I watched even more Criminal Minds. What upsets me is that when they do a marathon, they often jump around and don't do the episodes in order...what happened to the dispatcher...gonna have to go online and investigate!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We only slept until 7am this morning. We lounged around for a bit before heading out to Hannaford for supplies for the impending storm. Ben & Marissa were gone by the time we came home. Jen made us copypots and then we retreated to the living room for a Criminal Minds marathon. It wasn't long before we moved up to the bedroom for a nap. Well, the nap turned into the most intense sex we've had in a LONG time. God it felt good! We laid together a while longer, I dozed off until the power snapped on and off momentarily and woke me. We laid in bed and finished another episode of Criminal Minds before going back downstairs. Jen made us a snack of coldcuts. We tried to find something different on TV but there was nothing. We ordered Chinese food for supper...Jen waited quite impatiently...barking and meowing to annoy me! After that, she passed out on the couch while I watched even more Criminal Minds. What upsets me is that when they do a marathon, they often jump around and don't do the episodes in order...what happened to the dispatcher...gonna have to go online and investigate!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Goodbye 2009
It's New Year's Eve and the end of the first decade of Y2K so I can't help but reflect for a moment on the year and what is to come.
This year was eventful to say the least.
Jen & I seemed better than ever. We still have our moments and fight about stupid things but I think this was the first year Jen hasn't left the house after an arguement...she just goes to bed now! We were thrilled when Gov. Baldacci passed the marriage equality bill in May. We weren't going to plan a wedding until Merle and Kaylee convinced us otherwise over 4th of July weekend. We were going to have the wedding right there in Kaylee's backyard. After 2 days of wedding planning and a date set for September 26th, the signatures were submitted and the bill was going to a people's vote in November. Maine could make history and be the first state to pass a vote for gay marriage or be statistic #31! We watched with excitement and anxiety for the election results on Nov. 3rd only to be completely devestated. So much for equality...just another statistic.
Jen successfully brought the Brewer Goodwill out of the red and to the $700,000 mark. I was so proud of her success. She applied and was hired as store manager at the new Ellsworth Goodwill. It opened in November and she's been working hard ever since to keep it going strong. I'm so proud of her!
My job...well, part-time sucks. I tried to make the best of it and put my focus into drama. That paid off because Seussical Jr was the most successful musical I have ever produced! I made another failed attempt at jazz band...keeps getting smaller. I had my first experience as 8th grade class advisor. OMG what stress that brought on but I think it was mostly because of the personalities I had to deal with. Can't believe I agreed to do it again this year! Still, I feel like a second class citizen...schedule has gone from bad to worse because Music is nearly a filler! Needless to say I'm actively looking for a new job! I love my co-workers and the children, but I can't be unhappy with my position.
Our living situation has had its ups and downs and prompted us to begin searching for a house. Ben needed a place to live so we painfully packed up Lillie's old room and moved Ben in. After 2 months, his dog and our dog had a run in with Crazy Sallie. She in turn called the cops. Landlord was upset but not as upset as when Sallie called the cops because we were having a "wild party". I called Stan and apparently so did Sallie because I got my ass chewed out and Ben's dog had to go. Hope the old bag never crosses my path because I will not have nice things to say!
We continued to see Lillie every other weekend as part of the placement agreement and it looked as if things were going to end in termination of parental rights. I still don't get how we went from a termination trial to Jen & Brice getting custody, but it is what it is. Jen & Brice got Lillie back in July, the end of June was the last time I saw Lillie for 2 months. However, we've been able to have her at least one weekend a month and even got to take her to MA for Christmas. I just wish the best for her!
Jynx had 6 more kittens...2 on March 16th and 4 on July 5th. Of the 2, we kept one....Ziggy, and of the 4 we kept one...Megrim. With Ben's cat Blizzard, we are at 9!
The year didn't come without loss. Michael Jackson was the most shocking. Closer to home, my mom's first cousin/my godfather, Charlie Tessier, passed away in May. The funeral wasn't until the end of June. As sad as it was, it reconnected us with the Tessier family. Lillie was finally able to meet a family we were once so close to as well. We all met up again in October when Aunt Corrine passed away. In July, the UMaine gang and our families were all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Tammany's little girl. We'd gone to Skowhegan for a gathering the weekend Schuyler was born. We didn't find out until 2 days later that Schuyler passed 40 minutes after birth. I felt such extreme pain for Tammany and Mike. A week later, Jen, Ben, Jen and I went to MA for the baby's funeral. Sandy met us there. It was one of the worst funerals I've ever been to!
Since we are such big TV gurus, we kissed a sad goodbye to The L Word, found a new friend in Dexter, and finally won a Survivor pool!
I want to end this reflection with a thank you to facebook. It was thanks to facebook that I stayed connected with friends from far away and reconnected with friends from the past. It amazes me that one social network can keep me connected and up-to-date with so many people past and present!
2010 is going to be a big year...we have some big hopes and dreams that we need to make happen! We can do this, so this time next year I will have even more to be thankful for!
This year was eventful to say the least.
Jen & I seemed better than ever. We still have our moments and fight about stupid things but I think this was the first year Jen hasn't left the house after an arguement...she just goes to bed now! We were thrilled when Gov. Baldacci passed the marriage equality bill in May. We weren't going to plan a wedding until Merle and Kaylee convinced us otherwise over 4th of July weekend. We were going to have the wedding right there in Kaylee's backyard. After 2 days of wedding planning and a date set for September 26th, the signatures were submitted and the bill was going to a people's vote in November. Maine could make history and be the first state to pass a vote for gay marriage or be statistic #31! We watched with excitement and anxiety for the election results on Nov. 3rd only to be completely devestated. So much for equality...just another statistic.
Jen successfully brought the Brewer Goodwill out of the red and to the $700,000 mark. I was so proud of her success. She applied and was hired as store manager at the new Ellsworth Goodwill. It opened in November and she's been working hard ever since to keep it going strong. I'm so proud of her!
My job...well, part-time sucks. I tried to make the best of it and put my focus into drama. That paid off because Seussical Jr was the most successful musical I have ever produced! I made another failed attempt at jazz band...keeps getting smaller. I had my first experience as 8th grade class advisor. OMG what stress that brought on but I think it was mostly because of the personalities I had to deal with. Can't believe I agreed to do it again this year! Still, I feel like a second class citizen...schedule has gone from bad to worse because Music is nearly a filler! Needless to say I'm actively looking for a new job! I love my co-workers and the children, but I can't be unhappy with my position.
Our living situation has had its ups and downs and prompted us to begin searching for a house. Ben needed a place to live so we painfully packed up Lillie's old room and moved Ben in. After 2 months, his dog and our dog had a run in with Crazy Sallie. She in turn called the cops. Landlord was upset but not as upset as when Sallie called the cops because we were having a "wild party". I called Stan and apparently so did Sallie because I got my ass chewed out and Ben's dog had to go. Hope the old bag never crosses my path because I will not have nice things to say!
We continued to see Lillie every other weekend as part of the placement agreement and it looked as if things were going to end in termination of parental rights. I still don't get how we went from a termination trial to Jen & Brice getting custody, but it is what it is. Jen & Brice got Lillie back in July, the end of June was the last time I saw Lillie for 2 months. However, we've been able to have her at least one weekend a month and even got to take her to MA for Christmas. I just wish the best for her!
Jynx had 6 more kittens...2 on March 16th and 4 on July 5th. Of the 2, we kept one....Ziggy, and of the 4 we kept one...Megrim. With Ben's cat Blizzard, we are at 9!
The year didn't come without loss. Michael Jackson was the most shocking. Closer to home, my mom's first cousin/my godfather, Charlie Tessier, passed away in May. The funeral wasn't until the end of June. As sad as it was, it reconnected us with the Tessier family. Lillie was finally able to meet a family we were once so close to as well. We all met up again in October when Aunt Corrine passed away. In July, the UMaine gang and our families were all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Tammany's little girl. We'd gone to Skowhegan for a gathering the weekend Schuyler was born. We didn't find out until 2 days later that Schuyler passed 40 minutes after birth. I felt such extreme pain for Tammany and Mike. A week later, Jen, Ben, Jen and I went to MA for the baby's funeral. Sandy met us there. It was one of the worst funerals I've ever been to!
Since we are such big TV gurus, we kissed a sad goodbye to The L Word, found a new friend in Dexter, and finally won a Survivor pool!
I want to end this reflection with a thank you to facebook. It was thanks to facebook that I stayed connected with friends from far away and reconnected with friends from the past. It amazes me that one social network can keep me connected and up-to-date with so many people past and present!
2010 is going to be a big year...we have some big hopes and dreams that we need to make happen! We can do this, so this time next year I will have even more to be thankful for!
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